financial zen

So I’ve been writing about this post.

In my own way - I see that we all have deep seeded desires for our children’s future. We recognize that money can be an issue when it comes to something they want (and we want them to experience). We can do so much for them outside the realms of finance by simply listening to them, and guiding them to the best of our abilities. They are lumps of clay rolling down a hill, and we get to shape them a little bit, and guide them down the right path, but there are forks in the road.

I worry that some parents may focus too much on what they want and expect of their child, that it then stresses their child out. I’m not saying “take no interest” or “obsesses over your child” in any length of the word - I’m saying support your child. Celebrate their successes.

Let them fall, and show them how to better pick themselves up again. There will be times in life when you see that they’re going down a rough patch and “if they’d only just listen to you.” You realize you sound like your parents now, right?

It’s not about telling them what to do or how to do it. It’s about your kids needing to experience it for themselves - maybe they’ll succeed where you failed (or thought they’d fail). Maybe they’ll fail where you thought they’d succeed - the only way to know for sure is to let them live their lives when they need to - and let them know that no matter what you’ll always thinking of them - even when they think you’re just not thinking of their best interests.

Parenting, it’s… it is its own beast. I look forward to the future little Zens, but I also know how much heartbreak I’m in for! Best of luck to all parents out there - I know you’re trying, and I hope your little ones surprise you.

I was tagged by Broke Grad Student to do a Six-Word Meme.

My entry:
Seeking zen is pointless. Make Zen.

Here are the “official” rules of the meme if you’d like to play:

1. Write your own six word memoir
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you want
3. Link to the person who tagged you in your post
4. Tag at least 5 more blogs
5. Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play

Personally, I hate tagging, so I’m not going to bother - but feel free to take the idea and run!

Of course, being who I am, I googled this - and it seems to stem from a six-word autobiography. It’s a cool idea - a six-word moment of zen, if you will

I’m going to be going through an upgrade/updating process of plugins to add functionality to the site.

Things may get wonky for a little bit.

I’m finding myself stumble across a rather broad array of articles talking about “getting that raise you deserve” or “asking for what you deserve.”

Maybe it’s time people should turn that greedy green eye inward and think - what can I do to deserve that raise?

Simply put - keep yourself focused on your client, and make sure the company benefits from you. If you maintain these two, simple rules, you can both have a higher outlook in your job (especially with the economic downturn) but when times are good - have a better bargaining chip for a raise!

So nickel had an interesting article, comparing the definitions of frugal and cheap. Unfortunately, the examples are rather lacking.

So let’s take it up a notch - instead of HotOrNot why not “frugal or not?”

Take for instance, store brands. We know Del Monte, Chiquita, Pepsi, Coke (once Ohio State’s savior, now a harsh reality check), Jif (the choice of choosy moms) and a number of other brands. Can you taste the difference?

Honestly, there are a few choices that I have “gone frugal” on, and never will again. One of them is Peanut Butter. I bought generic once - and never again. It still amazes me that the taste can be so different. Vegetables, however, I can’t tell the difference - as with canned fruit. If it’s not fresh from the farmer (I’m working on it!) - it all tastes the same. I buy cheap.

Another recognition that “image from purchase” problem - I was once told that low-income families would be envious of the family that fed their children formula. Breast feeding is better, and recommended. Why do they go the more expensive route?

For the appeal of being seen buying and using formula. It doesn’t matter that it isn’t better, but to be seen spending that extra cash makes you look “rich.”

The point is - we’re presented with options all the time. Name brand this vs. generic that. The “appeal” of being seen wearing (or buying) that name-brand item or hottest fashion, instead of the functional, or the old or the worn. C’mon - sometimes, it’s okay to splurge. Sometimes, that endorphin boost is worth the price tag for those new shoes, that new shirt, whatever. Moderation is key!

It’s important to recognize that you don’t need to give up everything in difficult times - but recognize where your money is going, and why you’re buying it.

Well, by perusing some wordpress plug-ins from pro-blogger (a must read if you blog) I came across the answer to sites that unscrupulously steal your feeds (also called scraping).

Add a copyright message to your RSS feed! All with this plug-in - Angsuman’s Copyrighter Plugin. Really, I consider this plugin a must-have, especially once you start getting traffic and the “referrers” start coming in the form of “blah had a great post, here’s his content, and a link back. By the way, click on all my ads surrounding his entry to make me money.”

I recognize that feed-scrapers that do have link-backs aren’t necessarily evil- they aren’t phishing or stealing outright they’re just trying to make a quick buck off someone else’s writing spirit and soul. I liken them to pyramid schemes and Ponzi-artists - worthless, taking up bandwidth of the internet that would be better suited to a number of amiable bloggers out there.

Enough for my ranting - to my fellow bloggers fighting the scrapers, copyright your feeds!

As an aside, I’ve got some planned entries coming. Being a full-time father/worker/student/husband takes a toll, and it’s writing that suffers so that none of the others do!

I’ve been receiving a number of track-backs from other sites that scrape my site for content.

Essentially, they’re pulling in the first x amount of words and posting it as “blah blah had a great post: _insert_my_content_ read more here _link to my site_”

Now, should I be mad at this? There are two ways to look at this.

1. They are stealing my content - but sometimes they ARE linking back to me - and without any filtering rel tags.
2. They’re making money off of me - they have ads plastered all over their site, which essentially means they’re aiming at the suckers who click through on their ads instead of checking out the article (potentially getting *my* advertising money).

To be totally honest, I’m not sure whether I should lay the proverbial smack down on them - filing DMCA takedown notices (technically, some of them are citing me, and linking to me). What I see on a MAJORITY of blogs nowadays are just that - citations and links. Full of the occasional opinion posts - but even more full of “here’s my links of what other people wrote about Personal Finance” and in turn, those links tend to have people linking back and forth - and usually to the same article.
I guess the trade off from a scraper is I’ve got that many more links pointing at me - as long as I’m not the one setting up the spam sites to begin with. Anyone have any experience with scrapers? What have you done (or not done)?

Due to the passing of my Grandmother, I’m finding myself in the midst of receiving an inheritance.

I’m currently looking at speaking to a lawyer about this, as the sum is substantial enough to warrant looking at protecting it. I’m forced to imagine Shawshank Redemption:

Mr. Hadley, do you trust your wife? [Hadley threatens to throw Andy off the roof] Because if you do trust her, there’s no reason you can’t keep that thirty-five thousand…If you want to keep all that money, give it to your wife. The IRS allows a one-time only gift to your spouse for up to sixty thousand dollars…tax-free…you do need someone to set up the tax-free gift for ya, and it’ll cost ya, a lawyer for example…I suppose I could set it up for ya. That would save you some money. You get the forms, I’ll prepare them for ya, nearly free of charge.

-wikiquote

Thankfully, someone at work has pointed out a lawyer to speak to. My mission this week is to find out all I can about inheritance laws and taxes!

It’s interesting that I’ve had the topic of first impressions come up a number of times recently. My wife often gets commented on her handshake (she’s a paramedic/firefighter, so she shakes a lot of guys hands, and being in a guy-dominated field, she shakes hard and firm). I talked over with my HR rep a couple times, and she’s mentioned how people will arrive for an interview in a suit and tie, and by half-way through they’re down to rolled up sleeves and no tie or jacket (we pride our company for being laid back at work - we’ve got a relaxed, cool atmosphere going on).

Having said that, I’d like to comment:

• Dress to impress: You’ve got to remember where you are interviewing at. Some places would love to see you in a suit and tie, and other places will see you as uptight. The position also determines.
• Look fit: People do look attractive people, but this is unrealistic. It’s like saying fat people will never be employed. I know plenty of “overweight” individuals that are excellent workers. It’s not being unhealthy, it’s portraying yourself as unhealthy. If you’re a big guy that has to interrupt so you can catch your breath after sitting down, people may look down at that.
• Give an impressive handshake: I know a guy who prides on messing with underlings by not allowing them a good handshake. Of course, he’s also a bit of a humorist.
• Focus on speaking: Speak effectively. Know who is interviewing you, so don’t drop techno jargon to non-techies. Also, don’t speak to them like they’re idiots either. Ask questions about their knowledge or get their background beforehand so you don’t end up looking like a fool to the HR guy who used to be a developer.
• Use the person’s name: This is useful. I was fortunate enough to get the business cards of everyone I interviewed with (some of whom had difficult names to spell accurately) and made sure to send a thank you to them for their time and drop their names when we spoke.
• Listen: This is important. Don’t just stare off or ignore them, actively listen and ask engaging questions to have them clarify.
• Shine the spotlight on them: I used this technique often. I interview the interviewer to show an interest in them, and get an insight into the company, the position, and the other interviewers.

There are a ton of resources, and it’s never really commons sense. Sometimes you need to read these things multiple times to make them stick until they become common-sense to you. I know it’s always helpful to revisit old topics to keep them fresh in my mind!

Seeing Debt Hater’s post reminded me to check my tax refund - and behold - it’s there! State and federal taxes, in my bank account. What shall we do with this cash?

Pay down debt, of course! But what else?

The Wife and I are taking a much needed vacation to Niagara Falls, for a weekend of relaxation the end of this month. We’ve not had a vacation since after we found out about our son’s coming (back in November of 2006) and this year we decided Niagara was the place to see (I’ve never been). This year, I’ll have to mind my finances closely, as I’ve got three weddings to attend - one in Denver, Colorado, one in Brooklyn, New York, and one in Columbus, Ohio. A lot of travel, mostly in the middle to end of the year time frame, so we’re going to try and have “mini-vacations” all year long.

But at what expense?

We thought about how much money we’d have to spend on these trips, and since we picked up a new car, we’ve decided to drive - at least for Niagara - since it’s a six hour drive. We’ve landed a decent deal on a room (could’ve done without all the bells and whistles, but do to a strong vacation fund, we’re letting that slide). I recognize I need to update my networth - a lot of things have changed!